


Alternate Proposal

by perceptivefics



Series: A Series of Shoulders [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Genderqueer Cronus, Humanstuck, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, nonbinary kankri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 09:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10987824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perceptivefics/pseuds/perceptivefics
Summary: Sometimes Kankri imagines that there are times when he knows Cronus better than Cronus knows himself. This includes matters involving his stubborn sense of pride.





	Alternate Proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChasetheSun2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasetheSun2/gifts).



> Another to add to the pile for the wonderful ChasetheSun2! This time it's CroKri.

It started with a text. He received it mid-afternoon on Saturday, which was eleventh hour enough to be concerning, considering he and Cronus had planned since last Sunday to spend this Saturday afternoon together. Kankri exited the shower, got the chime on his phone, looked down, and saw words that made his heart sink.

 

CA: Can’t make the date tonight babe. Sorry for last minute cancellation. Something came up.

 

At first, paranoia took hold, and Kankri assumed the worst. Because good God, of course that would be his luck. Cronus found something about him to hate enough that he wanted to break it off. Was it going to be a sudden leave or would it be a slow burn of more canceled dates and dismissed coffee meets? Would he at least still be able to watch Cronus’s drag shows at the club or would those get cut off, too? But the sense kicked in quickly; so when Kankri dismissed the notion that it was something about him, he moved on to the next ultimate question of _what happened?_

 

KV: Is everything okay?

 

Cronus’s response was clipped and it took a few minutes for him to respond.

 

CA: Fine. Nothing serious.

 

Kankri frowned as he ruffled his hair dry, peering at his screen in confusion. If it was nothing serious, then why was he canceling?

 

KV: Are you hurt?

CA: Not hurt.

 

His frown turned into a scowl. A very concerned scowl, but a scowl all the same.

 

KV: Do you need help with anything?

CA: Nah. Thanks for asking though.

KV: Cronus I’m sorry but I’m trying to get something a little more than ‘everything is fine.’

KV: Is it a family thing? Something happen with your brother?

CA: Brother’s fine. Fam’s fine. I’m fine.

KV: You don’t sound fine.

 

His response took longer that time. Kankri had enough time to get fully dressed and even dry his hair halfway. He pinged Cronus again.

 

KV: Cronus?

CA: Got in a fight.

 

Oh, he got into a - _he got into what?_ Holy shit. _What?!_ Kankri’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. Getting into a fight was the exact opposite thing to not being hurt!

 

KV: Oh my God!

KV: What happened?

KV: Cronus?

CA: Drunk asshole at the club was bothering after you left last night.

 

Jesus. Kankri had visions swimming in his head of Cronus throwing punches and getting black eyes. Tables being broken as much as noses. He almost wanted to ask how bad the damage was.

 

KV: Bothering you?

CA: No a pair of cute lesbians who were having fun in the corner

 

Kankri blinked several times, curled up on his bed, looking over that sentence a few times until Cronus sent him another message.

 

CA: Anyway, yeah, got in a fight, threw some punches

CA: Son of a bitch tore the sleeve on my best jacket

 

Kankri made a face.

 

KV: Your jacket.

CA: Well he shoved me into a corner or a wall or something with sharp edges and THAT tore my jacket but

CA: He basically ripped my jacket

 

Would he go to hell if he smiled? Kankri wondered if this was so, but it didn’t stop him from smiling.

 

KV: But you’re not hurt, right?

CA: I’m fine

CA: I look like I got whacked by a bunch of wiffle balls from a pitching machine but I’m fine

KV: Black eye?

CA: And a split lip

KV: Oh dear. He got you good.

CA: No he didn’t. That homophobic fucker looks way worse than I do

KV: Please assure me that no body bags were involved.

KV: You aren’t texting me illicit messages from the slammer, are you?

 

Now this was fun. He hoped Cronus couldn’t pick up on how much he was grinning as he sent these messages. So far, the most Kankri was getting out of the conversation was that Cronus had canceled their date because he was too busy being a defender of women in bars, and that was far more adorable than Kankri was willing to admit.

 

CA: Ha ha funny guy chief

CA: No I’m not in jail

CA: I am however working off the frustration on my baby.

KV: Oh, no, not your baby!

CA: Just fine tuning. Nothing special.

CA: I was gonna spring for a new purge valve ‘cause the one she’s got is due for a change but wouldn’t you know it, some shit from the bar nicked the cash out my wallet

 

Kankri actually _gasped_ at how saucy this story was getting and covered his mouth with his hand. Privately, he _did_ still feel pretty bad - this was Cronus, after all! But even with that in mind, this series of comical events unfolding through text messages was the single most entertaining reason Kankri had ever heard leading up to a canceled date, and now he was _invested._

 

KV: No! How much?

CA: Like 240 in Jacksons, some of which was also supposed to be for today

 

Okay that part was a little less funny. Kankri’s own wallet creaked with sympathy.

 

KV: Wow that’s...a lot of money.

CA: Yeah no shit it’s a lot of money, I’m fucking PISSED

CA: Cheated out of a purge valve AND a dinner date!

CA: I’m pretty sure it was the new guy mixing drinks when I turned away for like two seconds because all the other cats and gals knew to respect each other’s shit like decent fucking people!!

KV: That bastard.

CA: Already reported the incident to the owner hopefully she’ll look into it

KV: Good. I hope they find the person who took your money.

 

There was an unusual length in pause after that. Kankri assumed Cronus was doing something with his car, so he settled down in bed, curling up, phone in his lap while he beamed at the screen and left him another message to get back to. _Initially,_ the intent was to try and turn this conversation into something a bit more inappropriate for work. (He was full of surprises!) But he got halfway through _what are you working on_ when Cronus beat him to the next message.

 

CA: You wouldn’t happen to be taking some sick sort of pleasure in me and my shitty day would you chief?

 

 _Whoops._ It was okay - easily remedied. Kankri was nothing if not honest, and there  _was_ a large part of him that understood the gravity of the situation.

 

KV: Delight? No of course not! Not entirely.

CA: And somehow I do not believe you

KV: Well you did just finish telling me that you got into a fight defending two beautiful women at your bar after a show.

KV: And that you got a black eye, a busted lip, and a torn jacket for your troubles.

KV: And that sometime AFTER that, you discovered you were missing over 200 dollars from your wallet. That’s a ludicrous amount of cash to carry on your person by the way, but that’s a lecture for another time.

CA: Are you seriously telling me it’s my fault I got ROBBED??

KV: Let me finish please

KV: And you are essentially telling me that all of these factors added together ended in the decision you made to cancel our date.

CA: Well I lost all my date money!! All our plans would be shot anyway, I had it all figured out and I’m sorry I didn’t have a back-up plan in instances of burglary!!

KV: Burglary is when someone is stealing from your house, Cronus.

CA: Whatever!!!

CA: So yeah, I canceled, because I had a shitty night and my face looks like crap and I was gonna get all dressed up in my greaser best for you and we were gonna hit the town looking swell and all but it just didn’t work out that way. Sorry.

 

Kankri creased his eyebrows together, worried now. He scrolled up through the conversation, then back down, contemplating his own responses. Cronus was still going.

 

CA: Is that what you wanted to hear?

KV: No?

KV: I think I’m missing something. What left you with the impression that I’m upset?

CA: I’m not getting the impression you’re upset, I’m getting the impression you think it’s hilarious this is all happening and you kind of started condescending to me just now.

KV: How did I condescend to you?

CA: Your quip about robbery v burglary, duh!

KV: Okay, my timing was obviously improper for that comment, and I’m sorry that I said it.

 

Kankri started and stopped his next text message enough times that Cronus once again beat him to the punch, leaving him with a sigh when he read the next message.

 

CA: I don’t appreciate being the punchline of a joke.

KV: I’m going to call you. This conversation is no longer conducive to a text-based medium.

 

Whatever Cronus texted him after, Kankri ignored it in favor of calling the other’s cell. It rang long enough that he worried Cronus wouldn’t even bother to pick up, but eventually, he heard a gruff, hoarse, tired voice on the other end. He always sounded so harsh when he was cranky.

 

“ _What._ ”

 

“...First of all,” Kankri replied, patient as a saint, “Please try not to yell at me. Alright?”

 

It wasn’t so much the request as it was his tone that caught Cronus off guard. He paused, then snipped over the line, “Fine I guess.”

 

“Thank you.” Kankri continued, “Now, about the fact that your money got stolen. I want to be clear that I understand that was in no way an entertaining thing that happened to you. I am not pleased or delighted by the fact that this happened. Nor am I pleased that there was someone with the audacity to punch you in the face.”

 

Another short beat. “‘Kay,” Cronus grunted. It was permission enough to keep speaking.

 

“The point I was trying to make originally, was that the _combination_ of events leading to your cancellation was entertaining.”

 

Displeased, Cronus growled, “Entertaining how?”

 

“Entertaining in that you essentially claimed you spent your entire evening fighting off bigots and reporting a thief, among other things. And that all of these events together ended with you being slighted for your heroism in a way, which caused you to cancel the date. No doubt because you are missing your date money, as an obvious reason, but also because I suspect you may be a bit embarrassed about your injuries, and your jacket, and the fact that you got robbed in the first place?”

 

The silence was longer that time. Kankri could _hear_ the gears finally clicking together in Cronus’s head on the other end of the line.

 

“Am I wrong?” Kankri prompted. “If I’ve missed the mark in any way, feel free to correct me.”

 

He heard a sheepish answer after a while. “N...No, that’s. That’s...pretty much the long and short of it, yeah.”

 

Kankri smiled again, soft and endeared. “Hey, Cronus.”

 

“Um. Yeah?”

 

“You know what I find _especially_ attractive?” He asked.

 

Cronus hesitated. “What?”

 

“I cannot say there are very many people I know who still carry your particular brand of chivalry.”

 

Cronus laughed, and he sounded _nervous._ “Aw, c’mon, it ain’t like I go chasing down bandits in the streets or anything, sugar. I’m not that great a guy.”

 

“Fine. I will assume that Cronus Ampora, Defender of Lesbians was a one-time thing.”

 

“Oh my God, you make me sound like some viral Internet fad.”

 

“But that still leaves me with the knowledge that at least for one night, you punched someone who deserved it, got injured and cheated for your troubles, and you thought that I would let you go for _any_ length of time without doing something for you.”

 

Kankri heard a soft, puzzled noise. “You still wanna see me?”

 

“Of course.” Kankri pointed out, “Plus, I could help you repair your jacket, and I would like to see what kind of work you’re doing on your car. Maybe we could take her for a drive after.”

 

He didn’t hear anything back right away, so that was the point where Kankri decided to sweeten the pot. “I’ll cook dinner?”

 

“God.” Cronus sighed, despondent. “I feel bad.”

 

Kankri stood up and began gathering his things to go and meet Cronus. He was already decided on what he would do, anyway, unless the other spoke up in the next few minutes to tell him no. “Why do you feel bad?”

 

“‘Cause I just spent the last few texts yelling at you like a douchebag, and you’re seriously sitting over there on the phone telling me how chivalrous I am.”

 

“You’ve had a lot happening in the past twenty-four hours,” Kankri chuckled. “You were frustrated. True, it could have been handled better, but I also could have taken the conversation a bit more seriously. I was just caught up in the fact that you canceled our date, again, because you punched a bigot in the face.”

 

“I canceled the date because I punched a bigot in the face and a completely unrelated other asshole took all my money,” Cronus reminded him.

 

“Details. I was endeared.” Kankri chirped, smirking a coy smile that he hoped Cronus could picture with little effort. “Anyway, we don’t need exorbitant amounts of money to have a good time, Cronus. So can I come over or not?”

 

He paused at his front door, just in case. Shoes on, clothes cute, hair done, ready to go - but just in case.

 

“I’m not much of nothin’ pretty to look at right now, chief.” Cronus admitted.

 

“Busted lip or not, I’ll still kiss you.” Said Kankri.

 

There was a pause, and then: “I mean, I guess if you don’t mind? Sure, come on over.”

 

“Alright. I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

“Wait - Kanny?”

 

Kankri opened the front door, cradling his phone with one shoulder while he locked up. “Yes?”

 

“I’m sorry,” said Cronus. “And, um. Thanks.”

 

He pocketed his keys and went off on his way, still smiling. “No trouble at all, dear.”


End file.
